Day 60 – The urge of pleasing and manipulation – Part 3 – Self forgiving

attention_manipulation1THIS POST IS A CONTINUATION OF POST DAY 59.

The word manipulation is connected to many dimensions and reactions within myself. Through self-forgiving I will ‘debunk’ this connection in order to ‘reset’ this connection and make sure I do not react to the word but hear it for what it is, a word with a defined meaning I understand.

So the first step is to define the word, here is wikitionary’s definition:

manipulation (pluralmanipulations)

  1. The practice of manipulating or the state of being manipulated.
    The dealer’s manipulations could have removed cards from the deck.
  2. The skillful use of the hands in, for example, chiropractic.
    After a few minutes of manipulation each week, she obtained days of relief from her neck pain.
  3. The management of some situation, especially for one’s own advantage.
    He found that the new manager was known for his Machiavellian manipulations in his last two positions.
  4. The usage of psychological influence over a person or situation to gain an outcome.
    The counselor was able to reach the disturbed teen through positive psychological manipulation.

Now I will forgive myself on the following points:

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to react negatively to the word manipulation as a consequence of the fact I am connecting the word to past experiences, thoughts and emotions.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to see myself as a victim in relation to memories and experiences I have connected with the word manipulation.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be manipulated in several occasions throughout my life, I therefore forgive myself that I accepted and allowed not to be my self directive principle, taking my responsibility in that moment but allowed myself to move into a situation I could not fully stand for as myself.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be manipulated over and over again without learning from past experiences, allowing the ‘need’ for (negative) energy be more important (the energy released by feeling victim of a situation, self-blame, etc.) than common sense and taking full responsibility for my own actions.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ‘feed’ on negative energy by maintaining alive a sense of being a victim by going back in my memory to specific situation I felt I had been manipulated and re-live again the feeling and emotions related to the realization I had been manipulated.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed to feel negative energy connected to the word manipulation even if I could not figure out what specific point was triggering the feeling/reaction.

I commit myself to not allow myself to go back into memories in order to re-live experiences but when I see myself doing so to stop, breathe and analyse the point/trigger to debunk it to stop the pattern I am in.

I commit myself to stop blaming others when I feel victim of them manipulating me. Instead, I commit myself to take full responsibility in that moment of my (re-)actions, by looking at how I stand as self in that moment and how I can act in common sense and in the interest of all.

 

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